I used to think setting boundaries was somehow selfish, limiting what I was willing to give, do and provide. Whether it was family, friends or co-workers, I convinced myself that if I didn’t give my all and go above and beyond all the time that I was somehow being less than.
The thing is, as I was giving and doing and being everything to everyone all the time, a funny thing happened, I became less than me.
Like many during the pandemic, boundaries between work and home blurred and for the first time in my life and career I experienced burnout. I reached a point where I no longer had gas in the tank to keep up all of my service intentions and trying to do so was taking its toll. In that moment, I knew something had to change and that something was me.
So, I put my limiting beliefs about boundaries aside and accepted that if I wanted my life to change that I would have to get comfortable saying “no” to some things in order to make space to say “yes” to others.
I started with self-care – intentionally creating some healthy boundaries that I knew would restore my energy and promote increased mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health – making space for daily exercise, spending time with loved ones, practicing mindfulness and embarking on a learning journey to acquire new skills and capabilities refueled my gas tank with passion and purpose.
While my desire to give, do and provide has never wavered, setting intentional self-care boundaries allows me to do so as my best self for when I choose to say yes to all the people, priorities and practices in my life that matter most.
How do you feel about setting boundaries? What boundaries have enabled you to thrive? Where are more boundaries needed to live your best life?